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On Loving Myself and You

by Spaceshow

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1.
Hair Dye 01:13
My hair dye is fading out. It's not pink anymore it's now bleached and brown. I'm losing my sense of self and I'm afraid of who I'll turn into of you're not around. Because you remind me that I'm worth something and as weird as this may sound you gave me some self esteem. And now loving myself is a possibility. And I'm scared I don't mean as much to you as you mean to me. I'm changing in all the wrong ways but I know I would hate to just stay the same. If everyone matures with age won't we all just grow up and grow out of this phase? I don't want to grow up but I need to mature and I never want things to be like they were. I'm still pretty idiotic pretty insecure. But I always want to be a better person that I was last year.
2.
Day Dreams 01:01
You are the first thought I have in the morning and the last one before I sleep. You are my mornings afternoons and nights and the spaces in between the parts of my day when I don't have to think. You are my day dreams you are just what I see when I find time to blink. And I get as low as I get high. I'm taking comfort in your company feel free to take it in mine. I'm following my heart and I'll see where it takes me.It's a start but I'll love myself if you make me.
3.
17 02:07
I'm at that age where I am learning how to ignore all of my distractions. I am learning that there are consequences for all of my actions. I am old enough to know but young enough to not care. It's too early to show but late enough to know its there. So I will live for the moment for the first time in my life. I will tell you how I'm feeling and not just tell you I'm alright. I will work for the future and not just work for the end. I will try to quit smoking I will try to make amends but I have time it seems to satisfy my needs, to achieve my dreams. I'm only 17.
4.
Leaving never feels right and I don't know what I'm leaving for. I'm just super sad and tired but you've heard this all before. And my chemical imbalances are turning into excuses just to let myself down and to let myself feel useless. But I won't let myself want to die; I will hold my head up high. Because I know that I am not as useless as I feel most of the time.
5.
One day I will tell all my friends my thoughts of them when we first met. Our first hello, our first goodbye an introduction to all of the good times we've spent laughing at inside jokes as telling each other the things we think we know through experiences we had together or not. We shared everything from our beds to our thoughts but everything must come to an end and there is rarely such a thing as a life long friend. And nothing stays forever an nothing lasts and all we have to remember is the idea of the past. So there is just one thing before you leave. I want you to know how much you mean to me. That every phone call and conversation we had made everyday seem a little less bad. There are friends that I'll never see again and I'll never get the chance to tell them that they are the ones I'll never forget. From our first hello to our last goodbye, the conclusion to all of those good times. Though I can't say that I'll never regret it, I can honestly say it was worth every second.
6.
I can see it all. I see my future falling down. I can see right though the walls of our comfortable hometown. I can see you in the sky and I can feel you in the clouds. And I can smell you in the wind and in the air that's all around. And I can make out your voice on the loudest of crowds. You speed up my heart but you also calm me down. You are more magnificent than any known noun and to hear you sleep and breathe is the most comforting sound. And I know that you don't care if I ever know. With your voice on the phone or the smell of your cologne, the thought of you on it's own makes me feel at home.

about

I fell in love for a few months and I wrote these songs while that was happening.


I am very sorry about making it 50 cents. I ran out of free downloads for the month. But you can download it here for free!
w-w-w (dot) mediafire (dot) com (slash) ?f iav0lb6p17b5ma

credits

released October 15, 2013

license

all rights reserved

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about

Spaceshow New Lenox, Illinois

These songs are the result of writing and recording music in my bedroom for the last few years. In other words; it's free for a reason.

If you want to talk or chords to a song send me an email!
mattjpollock2@gmail.com
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